recognizing the moment.

Setting the difference between what you do, and what those around you do.

It takes more of yourself to take ownership of who you are and what you do. So when times are good you should reciprocate, as best you can, how you feel into your work, or those around you. When things happen that aren't good... I have to internalize it. I have to over think everything in my head and get it out of my system, so to speak. Move on and be positive as best and as fast as you can. You can't bring the energy down around you or productivity or overall production value will fall.

It works. I'm feeling better about today. The image of a performer clumping to a pile on the ground on stage because a flying winch brake broke is fresh in my head and still bothering me. However; because our performer was already kneeling towards the ground in her final flying position, her descent to a pile however unexpected, did not hurt her. Also, according to our technical director; this is an issue with the nodes in the controller box. Nothing we could have done, seen, or inspected would have stopped this from happening.

Lucky stars will be counted when i can see them through this light pollution, or when i stay up a little later and head to the geocaching secret spot i found today. either way. still glad to be here in Hershey. the sweetest place on earth...

best of luck and peace n love
-drewfus

hershey love

I figured out that i don't want to pursue my wants and desires.


Someone has to need me...

your last living memory...before you die.

After taking my beloved philosophy class that begot this particular blog, i started to loose faith; as it were, in blind faith.

i still don't go so far as to say that religion is wacky, but absolute undying and unquestioning blind faith in any sort of teaching is totally absurd.

However to say i zero percent accept blind faith as reasonable, i have to re-question my stance on the end of the world.
see
mayan types believe that on december the 21st 2012 the world will come to an end.
christian types believe the world may already be coming to an end.

so to believe myan or christian tradition of the end of the world is to accept blind faith.

Now i love a good party and there probably wasn't about to be a better one planned for the end of the world than 2012,,,but i have to resign to the fact that a massive 2012-end of theworld party is not going to happen.

**warning-drunken blog p[ost approaching**

Recollecting with ole jasper I had to question my previous stance on certain heart temptress'. I am really struggling (as is ole jasper) on what to say to her. He shouldn't have (as a friend) gotten me thinking like this. Like for some magical moment she's available and i'm around. The truth is it happened like that one time, and she wasn't actually available...

not that me and jaspers stories are any alike, but they share feelings and similarities between otherwise crazy ladies.

Should i have told her how my heart felt?
yes.
Should i have put myself on the line in whatever conflict was araising?
yes.
Should i have just not given a shit like i have for the majority of the past?
yes.

Should i wear my heart on the sleeve from now on???
.......




i still love terry.

So I am a...

taking time away from my sound project by remembering a stoner fact a friend of mine reminded me of. "ya know God said, 'Let the land produce vegetation: seed bearing plants and trees and yadda yadda you see."

maybe the act of smoking pot is a big deal because that isn't 'God's' real intent for it... so cook it! get high... and if you happen to be a rigger; make some kick ass hemp rope.

The next bigger question is; What is the bigger joke? That God is cool with seed bearing plants like pot, which get ME high, or... That I don't believe in blind faith, thus making it immoral to smoke pot.

So what's the deal? (follow up question)

the impending sense of doom and/or disaster

August 2008
profit and loss evaluation

Week 1
-8 teeth
+30 vicodin
+1 warped perception of everything for 7 days

Week 2
-1 heart for a lady
-1 decent friendship
+4 fillings

Week 3
+2 fillings
-1 tree in backyard due to fay
+1st account of water in our house
(worst damage in 20 years)


Week 4
-1 position as drummer for split tone for a "2 week" cycle
(here's where i get screwed)
-$280 for 3 gigs
-any dank from here on till i have a job
-3 trustworthy friends
+2 supporters of Andrew
+1 last semester of school
+2 successful attempt at wakeboarding
+1 injured kneed from a kick ass slipnslide party.


I mean i'll admit i've been lucky as a fish for a couple years with my band gig but i really wasn't expecting such an abrupt and hidden end to that career. i guess i was due to get shit on for a month straight. I'm not trying to complain about it too hard. Yes i agree its bullshit, no i didn't expect friends to act in such a rash way concerning my primary employment and substantial income but really it is laughable...
I've shared a few chuckles about it. Oh well hopefully i can move onto respectable employment with union calls here shortly.

onto september though all of jacksonville has been blessed with monumentally great seasonal surf. funny though, yesterday i rolled over the tail of my loving longboard after parking it precariously underneath my truck. that was kind of stupid on my part, but as much fun as i've had in 2 days of surf it was way worth it.

this concludes the August 2008 profit and loss evaluation

psychology

I believe that i am prone to disappointment in other human beings.